An Open Conversation on Abortion: Courteous Conversation #3

Kelly and Laura.00_06_01_07.Still001

This is our third Courteous Conversation. They are both a little nervous. Kelly had even called Laura beforehand to explain that she only asked her to do this because she trusted their friendship.

Kelly is very pregnant, which adds some gravity to a conversation about Abortion. She is pro-life and her friend Laura is pro-choice. They’re both young mothers and their children play together in the next room as they talk. During the course of the conversation, one of Kelly’s children has a pretty bad accident, and we stop the cameras while Kelly cleans and Laura gets a change of clothing from her own daughter’s room that they can borrow. Continue reading

How the Olympics Changed What I Think about Gender Equity

Gender Symbols Olympics



The United States is dominating the medal count because of the success of its female athletes. Of the country’s top ten medalists at the time of this writing, 6 were female, and they have won more gold medals and more medals overall than the top male athletes. (For an interesting read on the correlation between gender equity and olympic medals, check out this article.) Our quadrennial glory and global bragging rights rest largely on the shoulders of female olympians. And yet, there are persistent questions about the state of gender equity in our sports and in the Olympics and other major tournaments. Continue reading

Courteous Conversations: Destroying our own freedom of speech


It was not easy to find people like Dan and Jonathan.

The first thing to know is that Dan and Jonathan are both Mormons, a generally conservative group, and yet they disagree over whether homosexual marriage should have been legalized. Dan is strong, confident, and has a beard while Jonathan is clean shaven and skinny.

David explains the rules of Courteous Conversations and then pauses. The camera is already rolling, but as David is about to ask Jonathan to state his beliefs about homosexuality, he second guesses himself, fumbles a little, and then says, “you’re on camera, so we understand if you don’t want to say something.” Continue reading

Abortion is NOT the Holocaust (and I’m Pro-Life)


Abortion is NOT the Holocaust (and I’m Pro-Life)

This election—and any election year—always carries a heavy, tense question among pro-lifers. The question is, can you ethically vote for a candidate you otherwise like if they are pro-choice? To those who are already pro-choice, such a question sounds narrow minded, but if you actually believe that a fetus has life and “is a person, no matter how small”, then it’s a valid question. After all, hopefully none of us, conservatives or liberals, would vote for any candidate who promoted killing the elderly, disabled, or a minority race. But when people compare abortions to the holocaust, they are warping the actual situation, and even hurting the pro-life movement.

Continue reading

Courteous Conversations: Talking across political lines

the brothers sabey logo with headphones

Brian is a soft-spoken man who invites us into his living room while he retreats into a back room to finish putting the children to sleep. His wife is out playing volleyball with friends. Brian has blonde hair, blue eyes, and holds moderately conservative views.

I mention his political silhouette because that is the reason we have come. Our goal is to find people who disagree over potentially polarizing issues, and find a way to have them talk together and, more remarkably, listen. Continue reading

How to have Courteous Conversations about Polarizing Issues

Video trailer for Courteous Conversations

At the beginning of the summer, David and I set out to find a way to help people who disagree over polarizing issues—even passionately, and often angrily—talk productively together. Fed up with the antagonistic political discourse so prevalent (and aggravated by the current presidential campaign), we wanted to create a situation where people would actually listen to the other side. (For a glimpse into why this kind of conversation is so important, check out this YouTube about political discrimination.) To do this, we had to remove incentives to argue, create a situation where participants felt safe, and take away platforms for rebuttal.

Here’s what we did: Continue reading