As I think about tonight’s presidential debate, I bemoan the loss of civil discourse—though my imaginary age of civility may be romanticized a bit. It is, however, true that over the last fifty years we have become more polarized. But it is also true that in the 1840s and 1850s “partisanship was so extreme congressmen took guns to the House of Representatives to protect themselves.” Continue reading
“It’s time to make college tuition free and debt free.” I can imagine the loud, Brooklyn accent and the messy, white hair as I read those words. And I appreciate the sentiment: Education matters, and we should try to make it both accessible and excellent. There’s also no question that our schools underserve minority and low-income students, many of whom would struggle to pay for any amount of post-secondary education, and that college tuition in general is unreasonably high, often costing more than it’s worth. I agree with all that, and yet, I disagree with Bernie Sanders’ proposal. Continue reading
Michael came home tonight rejuvenated from playing racquetball, excited to see me, and eager to bring the In-and-Out he got with his racquetball partner for the two of us to eat tonight.
He knew that when he left to play racquetball, I had just started taking a nap.
He knew that when I take naps, I tend to be out for hours, that when I am wiped out, it takes me a long time to bounce back.
He knew that I wouldn’t really have the energy or the desire to make Spaghetti squash, the meal we had agreed on for the night.
He would tell me, an hour or so later, that he envisioned walking inside the apartment and finding me asleep in bed. I would wake up when he came in the room, realize I hadn’t started the spaghetti squash, and start apologizing—then, he would tell me that it was all okay and that he had dinner taken care of.
Michael did not know that although I was very wiped out, about an hour before I thought he would be home from racquetball I got out of bed, started the squash in the oven, and stayed up to clean and get some school work done. Continue reading
Valentine’s Day is coming up, and unless you’ve been under a figurative rock gnawing on stale lovelessness your entire life, you know that you need to get your rear in gear. “Show her you care!”: every billboard and commercial on primetime warns reminds men that their love is on the line here. If you’re a Real Man, you will show her you care by purchasing one of the following: diamonds, chocolates, and/or roses[i]. The list of acceptable gifts is short and sweet—or rather, long-stemmed and caloric. The point of this holiday seems to be “put your money where your mouth is.” As Eliza Doolittle puts it, “don’t talk of stars, burning above: if you’re in love, SHOW ME.”
And actions talk louder than words, right? Continue reading
I think I became aware of the fact that sexual orientation is supposed to be an important part of one’s identity around 4th or 5th grade. I made a special homemade valentine’s card for another boy who had moved in. I was not romantically interested in him; I meant it as a special gesture of welcome. But he avoided me thereafter. In middle school, my male peers would talk knowingly of which female classmates were “hot,” but would profess utter ignorance about which male classmates were attractive. Female peers did the same. Being male (and straight, though this part went unspoken) meant, so we thought or affected to think, that the attractiveness of the other gender was transparent and that of our own opaque. Which, of course, is utter nonsense.
For as long as I have been attuned to the beauty of the human form, I have been attracted by male beauty as well as by female beauty—though my appreciation of male beauty more easily remains purely aesthetic, while my appreciation of female beauty more easily becomes erotic. Continue reading
My wife and I are planning to have children soon(ish) and perhaps that (in conjunction with our growing concerns of raising a family in an over-sexed society) sparked our conversation about sex ed. My wife brought up the conversation and we began to wonder what the best way to teach children about sex would be. What struck us first was how simple it would be to answer any number of similar questions: what’s the best way to teach your children about crossing the street? Or what’s the best way to teach them about the importance of education? The answer to both questions requires teaching children early and often, even before they are ready to grasp the concepts. Continue reading
The Brothers Sabey 